A commercial that PAYS!

If you use Dawn dish soap, go to this site:
http://www.dawn-dish.com/en_US/savingwildlife/home.do
Enter the codes from your bottle of Dawn; P&G will donate $1 per bottle -- up to $500K -- to save wildlife!

Not much to report; since TV sucks during the summer, I haven't been watching much.

Where in the world are Transition lenses? A recent TV ad shows a wildlife photographer taking pictures "in the wild." However, since he sees both a tiger (Asia) and a Macaw (South America) -- he must be either in a zoo or Busch Gardens!

Cars & "food stars"

Car ads made an impression on me in the past weeks -- probably because there are so many of them. (US cars especially desperately need to sell.) I haven't decided if I like the Kia Soul ad (hamsters in wheels being passed by those in the Soul). The CGI is certainly first rate, but does the spot inadvertently also imply that the car is very, very small (in proportion to the hamsters)?

CGI also makes the spot in the Toyota Prius "Harmony" ad, in which people are the landscape. Fascinating to watch; if, like me, you're wondering "how did they do that?", check out this URL: http://www.autobloggreen.com/2009/05/13/video-behind-the-scenes-look-at-harmony-toyotas-first-commerc/

Nice music (woman singing about a countdown) highlights the Lincoln MK spot, which continues its "spaceships don't need keys" theme.

As for "food stars:" I enjoy the MasterCard spot, in which a variety of food brand characters (Leo Burnett was once famous for creating such; I wonder if it's behind them all) sit down to dinner. TALK about product placement! I can recall: Vlasic Pickle Stork, Morton's Salt Girl, Pillsbury Doughboy, Chef Boy-ar-dee, Charlie "Starkist" Tuna, the Gorton's Fisherman, the Jolly Green Giant (probably more) -- and in certain versions, Mr. Clean is in the kitchen doing dishes (a bit of a stretch, because he's not a dish soap, but I think he's the only character Procter & Gamble has).

Maytag gambles, White Castle flashdances

Is the lonely Maytag repairman now working for the Mob? In a new spot, the repairman is being hurried down long hallways by some worried "suits." They're desperate to have their machines repaired; when they open a door, we see a casino, where all the slot machines are spitting out money, and the crowd is going wild. WHAT does this have to do with Maytag appliances?? Sure, Maytags "never need repair," so the repairman has nothing to do -- but, slot machines?? We don't see any Maytag appliances -- how does this sell its products? There's a joke in there somewhere, about money laundering....

White Castle parodies the old "Flashdance" movie to introduce its new pulled pork sandwich. The dancer, dressed in a pig suit, ends her routine by dousing herself with -- barbeque sauce. Unfortunately, when the liquid splashes on the audience, it's brown, and one doesn't immediately think of sauce. The spot is somewhat cute (the "stalking" Crave sack is a little cuter), but -- perhaps it's unfortunate White Castle decided to introduce a pork product during the current swine flu scare.

Puppies & poor taste

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's a soft-touch for dogs in commericals. In addition to their use in pet-industry spots, dogs show up in ads for everything from anti-depressants to toilet paper. I'm eagerly awaiting the return of the pup at summer camp who sings "Ain't no bugs on me" in a flea-remedy spot! The talented pup also sings a version of Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah, hello Faddah" in another commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlMNpvHm3OI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1-wmXIjDQc&feature=related

NOTE TO ADVERTISERS: If it shows up on YouTube, it's probably a darned good commercial!

Commercial crime: A (regional?) spot for X&X discount clothing store mimics a news report of a 911 call (2 voices on phone, captions displayed), in which a woman calls 911 to report she's been "robbed" at another clothing store. Art imitating life? Most folks have heard of the real-life 911 call in which a woman phoned in 3 times to report McDonald's was out of a menu item -- do we need to applaud/amplify stupidity?

Cincinnati MUTE BUTTON ALERT: American Freight furniture warehouse. Yes, there IS some "value" to the screaming announcer -- people DO remember irritants! -- but come on, give us a break. Or -- is there method to their madness? When one mutes the sound, one has to watch the spot, to find out when to push the button again...

Talk about 'wrong...'

A cell phone company's spots about 'wrong' things has been a mixed bag thus far. The one about exorbidant underarm hair was just GROSS -- and, since I haven't seen it in several days, maybe they finally decided so, as well?* The ham-eating pigs is funny -- probably because it isn't possible (well, at least their talking and owning cell phones isn't -- who knows what they get fed on those industrial farms?).

Swipe a concept, lose the point? A phone book company spot features workmen (found through its yellow pages) wearing yellow "superhero" capes. Tsk, tsk -- that concept (even the same cape color) is already known from a public service announcement (PSA) praising and promoting foster parents. For most of the spot, I thought it was a new version of that PSA -- until the company showed one of its phone books. Ergo -- stealing a clever concept is not only lazy craftsmanship, but it also dilutes one's message -- if through 90% of the ad, viewers think it promotes some other entity.

* 3/26/09: Nope, they're still running it. :P

Truth in advertising?

There are laws which protect consumers from false advertising, although there's a fine line between "fact" and "opinion," which allows a certain amount of fudging on all sides. Is auto X REALLY the best? Maybe you think so, maybe I don't -- but the "best mileage" -- that's something that can be quantified. (Except for the disclaimer, in 2-point type: Your mileage may vary.)

However, these rules seem only to apply to WORDS -- the advertising copy -- not the visuals that go along with it. Have you EVER gone to a fast-food restaurant and received a product that looks exactly like what's shown on TV? Probably not; yet advertisers get away with promoting such perfect products as "actual," and we consumers don't grumble when we receive a roast beef sandwich which isn't plump, over-stuffed, and 3" tall. (Does someone in the back room flatten them with a rolling pin?) Maybe we SHOULD grumble, especially now, when everyone is clamoring for our business; maybe we'd get more for our money.

Some rules about picturing food products have been established. Since shooting a commercial takes quite a bit of time under hot lights, and most food is very perishable, advertisers would substitute "similar" items for the food products. For example, that "scoop of vanilla ice cream" might've actually been a scoop of lard; the "fudge brownie" could have been a dark-brown sponge. To make a soup look more "chunky," clear marbles were often placed beneath the vegetables. Some of these practices are now illegal.

Talking about "truth in advertising" -- what about those "phone slut" businesses? Do men REALLY believe those hot chicks are just waiting to talk to them on the phone? Doesn't it ever occur to them that such babes are out having fun with handsome and/or rich men? Evidently, men are fooled -- because those inane commercials keep running, and TV air time -- even after midnight, when most of these spots run (thank goodness) -- costs.

For both industries, I'd like to see disclaimers: Acutal products not exactly as pictured. ;)

MUTE BUTTON ALERT! The singing fish that's missing its fillets. (Shudder.)

So much time, so little quality

Many viewers "tune out" TV advertising because there's so damn much of it. In the late 1960s, an "hour" TV show ran 54 minutes; today, only 42 minutes of that hour is entertainment content. (Probably less, because that time also includes the show intro, and the credits -- if one ever gets to see them.) Believe it or not, in the 1970s, one of cable TV's selling points was "no commercials!" Save for channels that were also broadcast (WTBS, WGN), most cable channels ran commercial-free. Today -- the majority of cable channels not only run ads, but also -- since they're not subject to the same FCC rules as broadcast TV -- they run MORE per hour. Well, at least that gives one plenty of time to go to the bathroom, let the dogs out, etc. What's particularly irritating is the "squeeze frame" ploy, in which the show credits or previews are zoomed into one corner, so the station can fit 15 more seconds of "sell" into its day.

With so many ads smashed into one hour, even if one DOES watch them, they all blend together. There was a time when TV stations would take care to not place competing products in the same "cluster" (commercial segments); for example, they wouldn't run a Chevy and a Honda spot in the same cluster. (For one thing, the advertisers would complain if that happened, and demand a "make good" replacement spot.) Sometime in the last 20 years, TV stations WOULD place competing ads the same cluster, but at least place another product between them (ex.: Chevy, Kleenex, Honda). Now -- especially in highly-rated shows, spots for car companies run one right after the other -- sometimes several in the same cluster. How can one tell them apart?

A glimmer of hope: During its "Fringe" and "Dollhouse" programs, Fox Network has begun not only scheduling shorter clusters, but they also tell you how long they'll last (60 or 90 seconds). Not only does this give the viewer more program, but it also likely keeps the viewer there, watching -- maybe younger viewers can make the kitchen run in 60 seconds, but I can't! Props to Fox for this move -- maybe it will catch on??

Show me the money?

One insurance company creates several ad campaigns at once, each aimed at a different market segment. This has resulted in high points ("celebrity helpers" sound-effects comedian and Mrs. Butterworth), a funny campaign that wore out its welcome (cavemen), and its original concept (gekko), which is often a mixed bag. However, the new campaign, "money with eyes," is merely dopey. Especially these days, one's money doesn't stare at us -- it either disappears to points unknown, or it's grabbed by someone else!

Cute stories that illustrate features: AT&T's "slice of life" ads subtly remind us of its biggest selling point (more bars) throughout, and kudos to whomever came up with all the crafty illustrations (stained glass windows, bags of grain, etc.). The "beer salesman" ad is clever, with good acting and music; "monkey's business trip" is sweet. It warms the cockles o' me heart to see Dad send his daughter snapshots of monkey's trip (which illustrates that AT&T not only works overseas, but also allows sending photos) -- a big "awwww" factor that makes this spot memorable.

Watch & Web

A good commercial? One people actively seek -- whether that entails rewinding the tape, or scouring the web. Although I don't use the product (which is vaguely named, until one figures it out), Gatorade's "Quest for G" commercial series is worth watching again & again. A spot-on hommage of Monty Python's "Holy Grail" (even the same canned music!), the entire "film" of the series is available here: http://missiong.com/video/The-Quest-for-G


Of course, one doesn't have to rack up the production dollars (although viewers enjoy it when you do!) to make a spot memorable. A little cool music gets the toes tapping, and captures attention. (In the case of iPod, it can also spur iTunes sales!)
-- most iPod commercials
-- Finish dishwasher soap (a '60s-spy movie tango)
-- Toyota Venza (techno with a strong beat)
-- Fresh Step cat litter (the Bloodhound steps to a "Perry Mason"-esque tune)

By way of introduction...

What the heck is this about?
After spending most of my life watching (and years in the business writing) advertising, I've come to the point where just merely yelling at the TV doesn't soothe me anymore. So -- here's my little piece o' the web to criticize and praise TV ads!

Advertisers and networks complain that people aren't watching the ads -- in many cases, I can see why. If you want us to watch, you MUST entertain -- or, at the very least, stop screaming at us, and/or insulting our intelligence!

Since everyone's so "sue happy," I probably won't call out the advertisers by name, but give you enough details that you'll know which ad I'm talking about. (Maybe they won't care if I PRAISE them; we'll see.)

Today's Most Irritating Ad:
The car insurance ad in which the man hits the retirees' car, and the woman beats him up with her purse. WHAT kind of IDIOT would CONTINUE scraping the entire side of a car? Wouldn't YOU stop the moment contact was made? If a driver is that stupid, I doubt that ANYone would continue to insure him for very long!

A long-running "goodie:"
PBS' "Empowered" ad. Great plot, SFX, music -- more engrossing and entertaining than a lot of SHOWS! If you haven't seen it, catch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi5rvy-10R4